TED演讲:生命中最惨痛的时刻如何造就我们(1)
As a student of adversity,
我从逆境中学习：
I've been struck over the years
这些年来，我一次又一次
by how some people
被人们如何
with major challenges
从极大的挑战中
seem to draw strength from them,
得到力量而震撼，
and I've heard the popular wisdom
人们说，
that that has to do with finding meaning.
这和找寻生命的意义有关。
And for a long time,
很长一段时间，
I thought the meaning was out there,
我以为生命的意义在某一处
some great truth waiting to be found.
它是等待被发掘的真理。
But over time, I've come to feel
但随着时间的迁移，我渐渐感到
that the truth is irrelevant.
真理无关紧要
We call it finding meaning,
我们称它为找寻意义，
but we might better call it forging meaning.
但或许我们该更准确地称它铸造意义。
My last book was about how families
我上一本书讲的是家庭
manage to deal with various kinds of challenging
如何应对各种让人伤脑筋的，
or unusual offspring,
或不寻常的儿女们，
and one of the mothers I interviewed,
我访问了一位有两名
who had two children with multiple severe disabilities,
患有多重残疾的孩童的母亲，
said to me, "People always give us
她对我说：“人们总是给予我们
these little sayings like,
一些所谓的名言，例如
'God doesn't give you any more than you can handle,'
‘上帝不会给你多过你能承载的’
but children like ours
但是像我家这样的孩子
are not preordained as a gift.
并不是天生就注定是份礼物。
They're a gift because that's what we have chosen."
他们是一份礼物，是因为我们选择如此。”
We make those choices all our lives.
我们一生中有很多这样的选择。
When I was in second grade,
我小学二年级的时候，
Bobby Finkel had a birthday party
鲍比开了个生日派对
and invited everyone in our class but me.
他邀请了班上的所有人，除了我 。
My mother assumed there had been some sort of error,
我妈妈认为一定是出了什么差错，
and she called Mrs. Finkel,
所以给鲍比的母亲打了电话，
who said that Bobby didn't like me
鲍比的母亲说，鲍比不喜欢我，
and didn't want me at his party.
不想让我参加他的派对。
And that day, my mom took me to the zoo
那天，我妈妈带我去了动物园
and out for a hot fudge sundae.
并去吃了焦糖冰激凌。
When I was in seventh grade,
我在7年级（初中一年级）时，
one of the kids on my school bus
我乘坐的校车上有个孩子
nicknamed me "Percy"
叫我：‘波西’ （发音似女式手提包）
as a shorthand for my demeanor,
取笑我的言行举止，
and sometimes, he and his cohort
有时，他和他的伙伴
would chant that provocation
会在整个校车的路途上
the entire school bus ride,
不停的吆喝着这个挑衅，
45 minutes up, 45 minutes back,
去学校的45分钟，回家的45分钟，
"Percy! Percy! Percy! Percy!"
‘波西！波西！波西！波西！’
When I was in eighth grade,
当我8年级（初中二年级）的时候，
our science teacher told us
我们的科学老师告诉我们，
that all male homosexuals
所有的男性同性恋者
develop fecal incontinence
都会大便失禁
because of the trauma to their anal sphincter.
因为他们的肛门肌肉受到创伤。
And I graduated high school
我直到高中毕业，
without ever going to the cafeteria,
我都从没去过学校的食堂，
where I would have sat with the girls
在那儿我如果和女生坐在一起，
and been laughed at for doing so,
那么我会被笑话，
or sat with the boys
或者如果我和男生坐在一起
and been laughed at for being a boy
那么我会被笑话为一个
who should be sitting with the girls.
本应该跟女生坐在一起的男生。
I survived that childhood through a mix
我用了忍耐加上逃避，
of avoidance and endurance.
才熬过了我的童年。
What I didn't know then,
我当时不知道，
and do know now,
但我现在明白了：
is that avoidance and endurance
逃避和忍耐
can be the entryway to forging meaning.
是铸造意义的入口通道。
After you've forged meaning,
铸造了意义以后，
you need to incorporate that meaning
你必须把这个意义融入
into a new identity.
一个新的身份。
You need to take the traumas and make them part
你需要把创伤变成
of who you've come to be,
你自身的一部分，
视频简介：
作家安德鲁·所罗门一生都在阐述关于艰辛的故事。现在他转向自己，带给我们一个充满挣扎的童年，同时简述着他近年来遇见的勇敢的人们的故事。在这个动人，衷心而时而完全幽默的演讲中，所罗门呼吁我们从最大的挑战中找寻意义。
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