经典英语美文 （64）施爱者和被爱者
First of all, love is a joint experience between two persons but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience of the two people involved. There are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from different countries. Often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored uplove which has lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto. And somehow every lover knows this. He feels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing. He comes to know a new, strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makes him suffer. So there is only one thing for the lover to do. He must house hislove within himself as best he can; he must create for himself a whole new inward world – a world intense and strange, complete in himself. Let it be added here that this lover about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a wedding ring this lover can be a man, woman, child, or indeed any human creature on this earth.
Now, the beloved can also be of any description. The most outlandish people can be the stimulus for love. A man may be a doddering great grandfather and still love only a strange girl he saw in the streets of Cheehaw one afternoon two decades past. The preacher may love a fallen woman. The beloved may be treacherous,greasy headed, and given to evil habits. Yes, and the lover may see this as clearly as anyone else – but that does not affect the evolution of his love one whit. A most mediocre person can be the object of a lovewhich is wild, extravagant, and beautiful as the poison lilies in the swamp. A good man may be the stimulus for a love both violent and debased, or a jabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll. Therefore, the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself.
It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain.
爱，首先是两个人之间共同的一种经历。但是，这并不意味着相关的两个人的经历是相似的。其中，一方是施爱者，另一方则是被爱者。他们两个来自不同的世界。通常，被爱者只是一个刺激因素，激发起施爱者长期隐藏在心底的爱。而每一位施爱者都明白这一点。在灵魂深处，他感到他的爱是孤独的。他会逐渐地认识到一种新奇而又陌生的孤寂。而且，正是这一认识使他忍受痛苦。因此，施爱者只有惟——种选择。他 必须尽可能地把爱珍藏在心底。他必须自己创造一个全新的内心世界–个深切、陌生而却完整的世界。需要补充说明的是，我们谈论的施爱者未必是一个为买结婚戒指而储蓄的年轻 人——他可能是男人、女人或者是孩子，甚或是世界上任何一个人。
当然，被爱者也同样可能是任何类型的人。最怪异的人可能会激起爱的涟漪。一位步屐蹒跚的曾祖父可能依旧爱恋着二十年前的一个下午在街头见到的一位陌生女郎。一位牧师也许会爱上一个堕落的女人。被爱者也可能奸诈、油头滑脑，而且沉溺于各种恶习。的确，施爱者对此可能像其他人一样了解得一清二楚。但是，这丝毫不影响他的爱情的进展。一个很平凡的人可能成为一个疯狂、放纵而美丽的爱的对象，就像沼泽地里的毒百合;一个善良的人可能激发起一种粗暴而有损人格的爱；或者一个语无伦次的疯子也可能使某个人充满温柔而纯朴的浪漫情怀。因此，任何一种爱的价值和品质只能取决于施爱者本身。
正是基于这一原因，我们当中的大多数人宁愿去爱而不是被人所爱。几乎每个人都想成为爱的给予者。而事实上，对许多人来说，处于被爱的情形在内心深处是难以承受的。被爱者总是害怕进而憎恨施爱者，而这种心理的产生有其充分的理由。 因为，施爱者总是在试图不断地使被爱者尊严无存。他总是企盼能够与被爱者建立任何可能的某种关系，即使这一经历结果只能给他招致痛苦。