英文欣赏：男女之间 Between Men and Women
Between Men and Women
男女之间
Men’s Declaration
男人的宣言
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes—enough.
大多数男人有三双鞋——足够了。
2. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
有困难时，除非你们需要人帮忙解决，否则别找我们。我们帮你解决问题。如果为了博取同情，请去找你们的女性朋友。
3. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We’ve been tricked before!
如果你觉得你很胖，你很可能是真的胖。别来问我们。我们都上过当。
4. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how to do it, just do it yourself.
你们要么请我们做事，要么告诉我们你们想要我们怎么做。不要同时要求。如果你们已经知道怎么做，那自己做好了。
5. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
哥伦布不需要别人给他指点航行方向，我们也不需要。
6. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
如果那里出现问题，我们会对症下药解决问题。
7. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the trouble.
如果我们问你们怎么了，而你们说“没事”，那我们只能装作没事一样。我们不是不知道你们在说谎，只是觉得不值得为此小题大做而已。
8. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
啤酒之于我们就像手提包之于你们，会令人兴奋异常。
9. Women, learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
女人，学会使用马桶。如果坐便器抬起了，把它放下。我们需要抬起，你们需要放下。你们无视我们的抱怨，不把它抬起就离开了厕所。
10. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know? It’s fun like camping.
谢谢看完上述条目。是的，我们知道今晚我们得睡沙发，但是你们知道么，睡沙发犹如露营，我们一点不在乎。
Differences
差异
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
男人愿意付2美元买价值1美元但是他需要的东西。
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.
女人愿意花1元钱买价值2元但是她不想要的东西。
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
女人找了老公之前都在担忧未来。
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
男人娶了老婆之前从来不为未来担忧。
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
要想与一个男人开心相处，你必须更多地体谅他，尽量不纠缠他。
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot but not try to understand her at all.
要想与一个女人开心相处，你必须更多地爱她，但不用完全理解她。
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
女人希望他嫁的男人会改变，可是他不会改变。
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
男人希望女人在婚后不要改变，但她却变了。
A man falls in love with his eyes.
一个男人会因为视觉愉悦爱上对方。
A woman falls in love with her ears.
一个女人会因听觉愉悦爱上对方。