TED演讲:我父亲是恐怖分子,但我选择和平(2)

By the time I turned 19, I had already moved 20 times in my life, and that instability during my childhood didn't really provide an opportunity to make many friends. Each time I would begin to feel comfortable around someone, it was time to pack up and move to the next town. Being the perpetual new face in class, I was frequently the target of bullies. I kept my identity a secret from my classmates to avoid being targeted, but as it turns out, being the quiet, chubby new kid in class was more than enough ammunition. So for the most part, I spent my time at home reading books and watching TV or playing video games. For those reasons, my social skills were lacking, to say the least, and growing up in a bigoted household, I wasn't prepared for the real world. I'd been raised to judge people based on arbitrary measurements, like a person's race or religion.

当我19岁的时候,我已经搬超过20次家了,童年所经历的不稳定并未给我结交朋友的机会。每当我感到和附近人相熟时,就是我要收拾行囊去下一个地方的时候。作为永远的班级新生,我常是同学们欺负的对象。为了不被同班同学欺负,我将自己的身份保密,但结果是,作为安静又胖乎乎的新同学很轻易就成为被欺负的对象。所以更多的时候,我待在家里看书看电视或者是打电动。正因为这样,我的社交能力有所缺失,简单地说,成长在固执的家庭,我没有准备好应对现实世界。我被教育成用武断的方式,依据人们的脸或宗教,来评断他人。

So what opened my eyes? One of my first experiences that challenged this way of thinking was during the 2000 presidential elections. Through a college prep program, I was able to take part in the National Youth Convention in Philadelphia. My particular group's focus was on youth violence, and having been the victim of bullying for most of my life, this was a subject in which I felt particularly passionate. The members of our group came from many different walks of life. One day toward the end of the convention, I found out that one of the kids I had befriended was Jewish. Now, it had taken several days for this detail to come to light, and I realized that there was no natural animosity between the two of us. I had never had a Jewish friend before, and frankly I felt a sense of pride in having been able to overcome a barrier that for most of my life I had been led to believe was insurmountable. Another major turning point came when I found a summer job at Busch Gardens, an amusement park. There, I was exposed to people from all sorts of faiths and cultures, and that experience proved to be fundamental to the development of my character. Most of my life, I'd been taught that homosexuality was a sin, and by extension, that all gay people were a negative influence. As chance would have it, I had the opportunity to work with some of the gay performers at a show there, and soon found that many were the kindest, least judgmental people I had ever met. Being bullied as a kid created a sense of empathy in me toward the suffering of others, and it comes very unnaturally to me to treat people who are kind in any other way than how I would want to be treated. Because of that feeling, I was able to contrast the stereotypes I'd been taught as a child with real life experience and interaction. I don't know what it's like to be gay, but I'm well acquainted with being judged for something that's beyond my control.

什么让我开了眼界呢?某次经历挑战了我思考的方式发生于2000年美国总统竞选期间。在预科期间,我参与了在费城举办的全国青年大会。我这组的话题是关于青少年暴力,作为倍受欺负的受害者,这个话题我很感兴趣。组员都有着不同的生活轨迹。大会临近结束的某天,我发现我的某个朋友是犹太人。我也是过了几天才知晓这件事情,我认识到,我们之间并没有与生俱来的仇恨。我从未有过犹太朋友,坦白地说,我为此感到骄傲,能够跨越我人生绝大部分时间认为是不可能逾越的障碍。另一个转折点是,某年暑假,我在布希花园 这个主题乐园打工。我见识到有着不同信仰,来自不同文化的人们,这样的经验 对我的人格发展 是至关重要的。因为在过去的日子,我接收到的教育是,同性恋是罪恶的,据此推断,所有的同性恋者都有着消极的影响。在我打暑期工的时间里,我有机会和同性恋演员一起合作,我很快发现,很多同性恋者是我所见过最善良,最自由开放尊重他人的人。在儿童时期被欺负的经历教给我要对他人的遭遇感到同情和怜悯,对我来说,我会善待那些对我好的人。因为这样的感受,我能够用真实生活和交际经历来抵挡从孩童时期就被灌输的成见。我不知道作为同性恋者的感受,但我熟知那种被无法掌控的事物所评断的感受。


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