TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(10)

The other thing you need to know about shame is it's absolutely organized by gender. 关于羞耻还需要知道的另一件事,就是它是完全被性别所导向的。 If shame washes over me and washes over Chris, it's going to feel the same. 当羞耻感涌上我的心头和克里斯的心头,那感觉都是一样的。 Everyone sitting in here knows the warm wash of shame. 这里每个人都知道那是一种什么滋味。 We&#...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(1)

I'm going to tell you a little bit about my TEDxHouston Talk. 我要跟大家讲一点关于我TEDxHouston演讲的事。 I woke up the morning after I gave that talk with the worst vulnerability hangover of my life. 在演讲之后的那个早上,是我这辈子经历过最糟糕,最脆弱的宿醉。 And I actually didn't leave my house for about three days. 而且我有三天都足不出户。 The first time I left w...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(13)

And so I'll leave you with this thought. 所以我想把这些思考留给大家。 If we're going to find our way back to each other, vulnerability is going to be that path. 如果我们想找到重归彼此的方法。脆弱将会是正确的路径。 And I know it's seductive to stand outside the arena, 我知道站在竞技场外面是很诱人的, because I think I did it my whole life, and think to myself, 因...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(7)

We heard a brilliant simple solution to not killing people in surgery, which is, have a checklist. 我们听说了一个简单有效的方法,来降低手术中病人的死亡率,就是准备一个事项清单。 You can't fix that problem without addressing shame, 不解决羞耻感就不会有这个方案, because when they teach those folks how to suture, they also teach them how to stitch their self-worth to being...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(3)

The first is: vulnerability is not weakness. 第一件事,脆弱不是弱点。 And that myth is profoundly dangerous. 并且这种错误理解非常危险。 Let me ask you honestly — and I'll give you this warning, I'm trained as a therapist, so I can out-wait you uncomfortably 我想诚恳地请问大家 — 先给个提醒,作为一个受过专业训练的治疗师,我知道你们会感觉不太自在 — so ...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(2)

And she goes, "Uh… no." 然后她说:“呃,不记得。” Of course, the only thing I could say at that point was, "Yeah, me neither. Yeah — me neither." 所以当然了,我也只能说:“哦,我也是…我也是。” And I'm thinking to myself, "Brené, what are you doing? Why did you bring this up? 然后我对自己说:“布琳,你在干什么?你在干吗呢?你怎么会...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(12)

But he really listens — because that's all we need — I'll show you a guy who's done a lot of work. 而是他能真切的聆听 — 因为那就是我们所需要的 — 那我就能给你找到真正能干的男人。 Shame is an epidemic in our culture. 羞耻感是我们文化中的一种流行病。 And to get out from underneath it — to find our way back to each other, 为了脱离这个困...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(6)

But in surviving this last year, I was reminded of a cardinal rule — not a research rule, 但是在过去一年的挣扎中,我被一个基本守则所提醒着–不是做研究的守则, but a moral imperative from my upbringing — "you've got to dance with the one who brung ya". 而是基于我所受教育的一种道义上的驱使 — 你只能打好手里已经有的牌。 And I did not learn ab...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(11)

Shame, for women, is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we're supposed to be. 羞耻,对于女人,是一张网,是一张由难以实现的、冲突的、抵触的期望所织成的关于理想的自己的网。 And it's a straight-jacket. 它是一件紧身衣。 For men, shame is not a bunch of competing, conflicting expectations. 对于男人,羞耻并不是一系列彼此冲突的期望。 Sha...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(8)

No, it is. You know why this place is amazing? 不,它就是。为什么这地方很神奇? Because very few people here are afraid to fail. 因为这里几乎没有人 是害怕失败的。 And no one who gets on the stage, so far that I've seen, has not failed. 而站在这个舞台上的还没有人,据我所知,是未曾失败过的。 I've failed miserably, many times. I don't think the world understands tha...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(9)

I know those things that happened to you growing up. 我知道你从小到大的糗事。 I know you don't think that you're pretty, smart, talented or powerful enough. 我知道你也清楚自己不够漂亮,或者不够聪明或者不够有才或者不够强壮。 I know your dad never paid attention, even when you made CFO. 我知道即使你当上了CFO你爸爸也从来没在意过。 Shame is that thing. And if we can quie...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(5)

And then I hear, "Vulnerability TED!" I turn around, I go, "Hi." 然后我听到:“脆弱TED!” 我转过身,说:“嗨。” She's right here and she said, "You're the shame researcher who had the breakdown." 她就在这儿,然后她说:“你就是那个崩溃了的羞耻研究员。” At this point, parents are, like, pulling their children close. 这时侯,父母们都拉紧他们的...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 解读羞耻(4)

What would you like for me to talk about? There's three big answers. 那你们想让我讲什么?有三个主要的答案。 This is mostly, to be honest with you, from the business sector: innovation, creativity and change. 这些老实讲,主要是来自商业领域的革新、创造以及改变。 So let me go on the record and say, vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change. 那么就...

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