TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(5)

So let's say for instance that you're on your way to your best friend's wedding and you're trying to get to the airport and you're stuck in terrible traffic, and you finally arrive at your gate and you've missed your flight. 比如,你在去你朋友婚礼的路上,机场的路上塞车,你最终到了登机口,却错过飞机了。 You're going to experience more regret in tha...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(13)

Well it did. But it turns out, it doesn't remind me of the thing I thought it would; it reminds me constantly of something else instead. 不过确实是只是让我想起的不是我当初希望的;而常常是其他东西,它常常让我想起。 It actually reminds me of the most important lesson regret can teach us, which is also one of the most important lessons life teaches us. 关于遗憾的教训也是生...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(3)

This idea is nicely captured by this quote: "Things without all remedy should be without regard; what's done is done." 有句话很好地表达了这个观点:“放开无法挽回的事情;泼出去水收不回来。” And it seems like kind of an admirable philosophy at first-something we might all agree to sign onto…until I tell you who said it. 首先这个看起来是很值得赞扬的人生哲学—...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(12)

The third way that I think we can help make our peace with regret is through the passage of time, which, as we know, heals all wounds-except for tattoos, which are permanent. 第三点我想就是通过时间的流逝来慢慢平和地面对遗憾,我想,时间抚平一切—除了纹身大概是永久性的。 So it's been several years since I got my own tattoo. And do you guys just want to see it? All right. 我...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(10)

Now there is a case to be made that control freaks and perfectionists should not get tattoos, and I'm going to return to that point in a few minutes. 那么有一点就是控制狂和完美主义者千万别纹身,一会儿我会提到这一点。 But first I want to say that the intensity and persistence with which we experience these emotional components of regret is obviously going to vary depending...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(6)

Now within that framework, we can obviously experience regret about a lot of different things. 在这个模式下,我们显然常常后悔很多事情。 This session today is about behavioral economics. And most of what we know about regret comes to us out of that domain. 今天这个会议是关于行为经济学。我们知道的大部分“后悔”都是来自这个范围。 We have a vast body of literature on consumer and ...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(7)

So in other words, we know most of what we know about regret by the study of finance. But it turns out, when you look overall at what people regret in life, you know what, our financial decisions don't even rank. 换句话说,我们是通过金融研究了解了遗憾。但结果是当你思量人们生命中的憾事时,我们的财务决定根本就是排不上号。 They account for less than three percent of our tot...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(2)

And this was all actually quite shocking to me, because prior to this moment, I had prided myself on having absolutely no regrets. 这让我十分震惊,因为在那之前,我告诉自己,我绝对不会后悔的。 I made a lot of mistakes and dumb decisions, of course. I do that hourly. 我做过很多错事和傻事,这是当然的。 But I had always felt like, look, you know, I made the best choice I could m...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(4)

So let's start off by defining some terms. What is regret? 首先让我们定义一下几个词语。什么是后悔? Regret is the emotion we experience when we think that our present situation could be better or happier if we had done something different in the past. 后悔是我们觉得如果过去做法不同,当下的状况就会更好更幸福时的情绪表达。 So in other words, regret requires two things. It ...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(11)

So how are we supposed to live with this? 那我们怎么才能面对悔恨? I want to suggest that there's three things that help us to make our peace with regret. 我想提三点建议来让我们平和地面对后悔。 And the first of these is to take some comfort in its universality. 第一就是意识到它的普遍性。 If you Google regret and tattoo, you will get 11.5 million hits. 如果你在谷歌上搜索...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(9)

But I want to suggest that there's also a fifth one. 但我想说还有第五阶段。 And I think of this as a kind of existential wake-up call. 我想这是一种自我觉醒。 That night in my apartment, after I got done kicking myself and so forth, I lay in bed for a long time, and I thought about skin grafts. 那晚我在公寓里反反复复讨伐自己后,我躺在床上很久,想着植皮。 And then I though...

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TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(8)

The second characteristic component of regret is a sense of bewilderment. 后悔第二波就是困惑感。 So the other thing I thought about there in my bedroom that night was, "How could I have done that? What was I thinking?" 那天晚上我在卧室里想的就是“我怎么做出这样的事情?我到底在想什么?” This real sense of alienation from the part of us that made a decision we regret....

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TED演讲之败中求胜 不要一悔再悔(1)

So that's Johnny Depp, of course. And that's Johnny Depp's shoulder. 这是强尼·德普,很显然,这是他的肩膀。 And that's Johnny Depp's famous shoulder tattoo. Some of you might know that, in 1990, Depp got engaged to Winona Ryder, and he had tattooed on his right shoulder "Winona forever." 这是他肩膀上著名的纹身。也许有人知道,在1990年德普和薇诺娜·...

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