The other thing you need to know about shame is it's absolutely organized by gender. 关于羞耻还需要知道的另一件事，就是它是完全被性别所导向的。 If shame washes over me and washes over Chris, it's going to feel the same. 当羞耻感涌上我的心
I'm going to tell you a little bit about my TEDxHouston Talk. 我要跟大家讲一点关于我TEDxHouston演讲的事。 I woke up the morning after I gave that talk with the worst vulnerability hangover of my life. 在演讲之后的那个早上，是我这辈
And so I'll leave you with this thought. 所以我想把这些思考留给大家。 If we're going to find our way back to each other, vulnerability is going to be that path. 如果我们想找到重归彼此的方法。脆弱将会是正确的路径。 And I know it's seductive
We heard a brilliant simple solution to not killing people in surgery, which is, have a checklist. 我们听说了一个简单有效的方法，来降低手术中病人的死亡率，就是准备一个事项清单。 You can't fix that problem without addressing shame, 不解决羞耻感就不
The first is: vulnerability is not weakness. 第一件事，脆弱不是弱点。 And that myth is profoundly dangerous. 并且这种错误理解非常危险。 Let me ask you honestly -- and I'll give you this warning, I'm trained as a therapist, so
And she goes, "Uh... no." 然后她说：“呃，不记得。” Of course, the only thing I could say at that point was, "Yeah, me neither. Yeah -- me neither." 所以当然了，我也只能说：“哦，我也是...我也是。” And I'm thinking to myself, "Brené,
But he really listens -- because that's all we need -- I'll show you a guy who's done a lot of work. 而是他能真切的聆听 -- 因为那就是我们所需要的 -- 那我就能给你找到真正能干的男人。 Shame is an epidemic in our culture. 羞耻感是我们文化中的一种流行病。
But in surviving this last year, I was reminded of a cardinal rule -- not a research rule, 但是在过去一年的挣扎中，我被一个基本守则所提醒着--不是做研究的守则， but a moral imperative from my upbringing -- "you've got to dance with th
Shame, for women, is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we're supposed to be. 羞耻，对于女人，是一张网，是一张由难以实现的、冲突的、抵触的期望所织成的关于理想的自己的网。 And it's a straight-jacket. 它是一件紧身衣。 F
No, it is. You know why this place is amazing? 不，它就是。为什么这地方很神奇？ Because very few people here are afraid to fail. 因为这里几乎没有人 是害怕失败的。 And no one who gets on the stage, so far that I've seen, has not fail
I know those things that happened to you growing up. 我知道你从小到大的糗事。 I know you don't think that you're pretty, smart, talented or powerful enough. 我知道你也清楚自己不够漂亮，或者不够聪明或者不够有才或者不够强壮。 I know your dad never
And then I hear, "Vulnerability TED!" I turn around, I go, "Hi." 然后我听到：“脆弱TED！” 我转过身，说：“嗨。” She's right here and she said, "You're the shame researcher who had the breakdown." 她就在这儿，然后她说：“你就是那个崩溃了的羞耻研
What would you like for me to talk about? There's three big answers. 那你们想让我讲什么？有三个主要的答案。 This is mostly, to be honest with you, from the business sector: innovation, creativity and change. 这些老实讲，主要是来自
