TED演讲之什么是爱:玩转婚恋网(1)
So my name is Amy Webb,
我的名字呢，叫艾米·韦伯
and a few years ago I found myself at the end
几年前，我发现自己走到
of yet another fantastic relationship
又一段美好恋情的尽头
that came burning down in a spectacular fashion.
一切绚丽消逝
And I thought, you know, what's wrong with me?
你说我，到底怎么了？
I don't understand why this keeps happening.
真不懂，为什么每次都这样
So I asked everybody in my life
我就去问，身边的人
what they thought.
看他们，怎么想
I turned to my grandmother,
我找到，姥姥
who always had plenty of advice,
她总有，很多忠告
and she said, "Stop being so picky.
她说 “别太挑剔了"
You've got to date around.
“你得，多跟人谈谈"
And most importantly,
“还有，最重要的是“
true love will find you when you least expect it."
“顺其自然，缘分始终会来的“
Now as it turns out,
而实际上
I'm somebody who thinks a lot about data,
我这个人，总要找依据
as you'll soon find.
这点相信你，很快会发现
I am constantly swimming in numbers
我总是沉浸在，数字当中
and formulas and charts.
长期和公式，图表打交道
I also have a very tight-knit family,
同时，我的家庭，非常和睦
and I'm very, very close with my sister,
我和姐姐，关系特别好
and as a result, I wanted to have
所以，从小我就想
the same type of family when I grew up.
长大以后，要有一个温暖的大家庭
So I'm at the end of this bad breakup,
所以这次分手，很伤心
I'm 30 years old,
我当时30岁
I figure I'm probably going to have
想着，起码要和下一任
to date somebody for about six months
交往6个月
before I'm ready to get monogamous
才能真正，确定关系
and before we can sort of cohabitate,
然后再考虑，搬一起住
and we have to have that happen for a while before we can get engaged.
之后再过段时间，才考虑订婚
And if I want to start having children by the time I'm 35,
所以，如果想在35岁之前，要孩子
that meant that I would have had to have been
就意味着我必须
on my way to marriage five years ago.
提前5年为结婚做准备
So that wasn't going to work.
很明显，那行不通
If my strategy was to least-expect my way
如果换个思路 “顺其自然”等缘分
into true love, then the variable that I had
那么，我要面临的变数
to deal with was serendipity.
是运气
In short, I was trying to figure out, well,
简单来说，我想探个究竟，看看
what's the probability of my finding Mr. Right?
随缘偶遇真命天子，概率有多高
Well, at the time I was living in the city of Philadelphia,
当时我呢，住在费城
and it's a big city, and I figured,
这是个大城市，所以我判断
in this entire place, there are lots of possibilities.
地方越大，机会越大
So again, I started doing some math.
接着我又开始，算数了
Population of Philadelphia: It has 1.5 million people.
费城人口：总共150万
I figure about half of that are men,
估计，一半是男性
so that takes the number down to 750,000.
有效人数，下降到75万
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 30 and 36,
我的目标是 30到36岁之间的男性
which was only four percent of the population,
他们，占这部分人口的4%
so now I'm dealing with the possibility of 30,000 men.
算起来，可能剩下3万人
I was looking for somebody who was Jewish,
我要找，犹太人
because that's what I am and that was important to me.
因为我本身也是，这点很重要
That's only 2.3 percent of the population.
他们只占，这部分人口的2.3%
I figure I'm attracted to maybe one out of 10
然后，估计10个人当中，
of those men,
有1个我喜欢
and there was no way I was going
还有，我和爱打高尔夫的，
to deal with somebody who was an avid golfer.
完全合不来
So that basically meant there were 35 men for me
也就是说，对我而言
that I could possibly date
费城总共有35位男士，适宜约会
in the entire city of Philadelphia.
在整个费城！
In the meantime, my very large Jewish family
与此同时，我们犹太大家族
was already all married and well on their way
其他成员，全部都结了婚
to having lots and lots of children,
而且还生了，很多很多孩子
and I felt like I was under tremendous peer pressure
所以我总有，巨大的压力和紧迫感
to get my life going already.
要尽快解决，人生大事
So if I have two possible strategies at this point
这时候，我有两个办法
I'm sort of figuring out.
我发现
One, I can take my grandmother's advice
一是，可以听姥姥的话
and sort of least-expect my way
尝试“顺其自然”
into maybe bumping into the one
碰上那一位
out of 35 possible men in the entire
在费城茫茫 150万人海中
1.5 million-person city of Philadelphia,
偶遇那35位男士，其中的一位
or I could try online dating.
又或者，我可以试试婚恋网
Now, I like the idea of online dating,
其实我挺喜欢，这个概念
because it's predicated on an algorithm,
因为我们可以，用运算规则推算结果
and that's really just a simple way of saying
所谓运算规则，其实很简单
I've got a problem, I'm going to use some data,
当我们遇到问题，只要收集数据
run it through a system
放到系统里面，
and get to a solution.
就能找到解决办法
So online dating is the second most popular way
婚恋网，现在已经成为大家
that people now meet each other,
互相认识的，第二大途径
but as it turns out, algorithms have been around
不过，网站的运算规则
for thousands of years in almost every culture.
在几千年前，就可以找到
In fact, in Judaism, there were matchmakers
例如犹太族，
a long time ago, and though
从很早以前就有媒人
they didn't have an explicit algorithm per se,
虽然他们没有，列出公式
they definitely were running through formulas in their heads,
但在脑子里，一定琢磨过这些问题
like, is the girl going to like the boy?
比如，女孩会喜欢男孩吗？
Are the families going to get along?
两家人能处得来吗？
What's the rabbi going to say?
拉比(犹太教教师或法学导师)会怎么说？
Are they going to start having children right away?
他们会不会马上生孩子？
And the matchmaker would sort of think through all of this,
媒人们会，先想好这些问题
put two people together, and that would be the end of it.
再把两个人凑到一起，就完事了
So in my case, I thought,
而我呢，我想
well, will data and an algorithm
能不能通过数据和公式
lead me to my Prince Charming?
帮我找到白马王子？
So I decided to sign on.
我决定注册
Now, there was one small catch.
这里还有一个小插曲
As I'm signing on to the various dating websites,
我开设了几个婚恋网帐户
as it happens, I was really, really busy.
碰巧那段时间特别，特别忙
But that actually wasn't the biggest problem.
不过那还不是，最大的问题
The biggest problem is that I hate
最大的，问题是
filling out questionnaires of any kind,
我讨厌填，问答表
and I certainly don't like questionnaires
尤其不喜欢，
that are like Cosmo quizzes.
时尚杂志小编爱问的题目
演讲简介：
艾米·韦伯 (Amy Webb)在婚恋网运气不佳－－看上的人不回复，约她的人又谈不拢（还有更糟的）。所以，这位数据迷开始列表运算找幸福。来听听她如何玩转婚恋网，把烦人的遭遇化为改变命运的快乐机遇。
重点讲解：
1.burn down 烧毁；烧光；烧为平地
例句：They'll burn down their house and collect the money.
他们就会烧掉自己的房子来赚钱
2.least expect it 最意想不到的时候
例句：But sometimes, the pain gets you when you least expect it.
但是有时候，疼痛在你最不期待的时候出现。
3.as it turns out 结果是；实际上是
例句：As it turns out, however, at least when it comes to their clothing, superstition rather than logic rules.
不过，至少就他们的衣着而言，起作用的其实并非逻辑而是迷信。
4.for a while 暂时；一会儿；一时
例句：He looked up to the sky for a while .
他抬头看了一会儿天空。
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