OWNED BY PARROT01

I used to believe that love meant putting everyone else and their needs first, before my own. While I do think there is some truth to that, in the sense that being a giving person is one of the ultimate acts of being a loving person, I came to realize that I must give to and love myself first and foremost.

我曾经认为爱，就意味着所有事都先人后己。直到现在我都认为这种观点有一定的道理，因为作一个“施爱者”的最高境界之一就是作一个“给予者”。但是，我也渐渐意识到，给予自己、爱自己才是最重要的。

Here’s why:

原因如下：

When you put everyone and everything else above you, you are no longer valuing yourself and your needs. And when you are not meeting your needs, and you don’t take care of yourself (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually), you can’t be the best version of yourself to the special people in your life. So in essence, you don’t love them at your full potential!

当你把所有人、所有事都置于自己需求之上，你或许就会忽略自己的价值、忽视自己的需求了。而当你无法满足自己的需求时，也就意味你就不能够（在心理上、生理上、思想上、精神上）好好照顾自己了。这样的话，你便无法在你生命中那些特别的人面前呈现最好的自己。所以，从本质上说，你没有尽自己全力来爱他们！

Here are some things to consider

你需要思考一下：

1. Are you physically taking care of yourself? Do you nourish yourself with the right foods, get enough sleep, exercise, are at a healthy weight, and on top of your check-ups? If not, I bet your energy is low, you’re tired and stressed, and your confidence isn’t the highest (because you probably don’t feel your best). Now think about how much more you could give to others when you aren’t exhausted, you’re happy with what you see in the mirror, and you aren’t on edge with stress.

你有好好照顾自己的身体吗？有没有做到合理健康的饮食来获得营养、是否给到自己充足的睡眠和锻炼、有没有维持健康体重并保持体检中各项指标正常？如果没有的话，我确定你的能量肯定很有限，你感到疲倦、压力很大，而且信心也不是最好的状态。现在，想象一下，如果你活力满满，乐于看到镜中的自己，也并没有因为压力而感到烦躁不安，你能为他人多做多少事啊！

2. Are you emotionally and mentally healthy? As humans, we’re so complex and having ups and downs is normal. But in general, assess where you stand emotionally. If it’s in a healthy place and you can manage your emotions in a healthy way — great! But if you self-soothe in destructive ways and have a negative attitude and energy about you, realize that it’s not just affecting you, but others too. When you aren’t an emotionally and mentally healthy person, that energy pours into everything you do, and everyone you’re around will feel the effects, too.

你自己的情绪和思想都是健康的吗？作为人类，我们是非常复杂的，状态时好时坏也很正常。不过你可以总体评估一下自己的状态。如果你拥有健康的情绪，而且也可以以一种健康的方式来掌控自己的情绪，那就太棒了！但是，如果你的自我安慰方式是不健康的、对自己的态度和方式消极悲观、充满负能量，那么你要明白这种情况不仅会影响到你自己，还会影响到周围的人。如果你的情绪、思想都处于非健康的状态，那么负能量会不受控制的影响到你做的所有事务上，而你周围的每个人也都会受到影响。

3.How’s your spirituality? In this sense, spirituality is about having an ultimate purpose and being in tune with your true self. Do you wake up every day excited for what your life is about, and have gratitude for all the abundance you already have? If not, you may not be listening and living to what your heart truly desires. Living this way long term, may affect the essence of your inner being and, in turn, may not allow you to show up your very best for the world.

还有你的精神状况如何？当然，我说的精神状态指的是和目前真实内心的你合拍的人生目标。比如，每天早晨醒来你是否都会为自己的人生感到很兴奋，同时为你所拥有的一切心怀感恩之情？如果不是，也许你还未倾听到自己心中真实的渴望、也没有活成真正的自己。长此以往，可能会影响到你的内在自我本质。话说回来，你也无法向这个世界呈现最棒的自己。

Be kind to yourself.

善待自己吧。

It can be difficult to put your health and wellbeing first when life is demanding between your career, family, friendships, relationships, and so on. If you can think of any ways to improve your wellbeing and love yourself more, start today! Take a baby step towards this. Perhaps try getting an hour more of sleep. Move your body in a way that feels good. Take time for yourself to be with your thoughts and without distractions and feel that peace.

或许把自己的健康和幸福放在首要位置有难度，因为我们每个人都需要平衡事业、家庭、友谊、爱情，等等。但如果你想到有什么样的方式方法，可以提高自我幸福感，可以爱自己多一些，那么就从今天开始尝试吧！哪怕先向这个方向迈出一小步——比如，尽量多睡一小时、以自己感到舒服的方式活动活动身体、拿出时间让自己独处，远离纷扰，感受那份安宁。