智慧人生篇章 (45)女性vs.暴力
I was attending a workshop on women and violence. One told her story. She was 18 and visiting a farm with her boyfriend. Alone together, they had sex even though she didn’t want to. Guilt-ridden, humiliated and demeaned, why didn’t she report it? Because even though she had clearly said no, it didn’t occur to her for nearly ten years that she had just been raped.
我曾经参加了一个有关女性和暴力的研讨会。有个女人讲述了自己的故事。她18岁时和男友去一家农场。俩人单独在一起,尽管她不愿意但是他们还是做爱了。罪恶感与耻辱感笼罩、她贬低自己,为什么她什么都没有揭发?因为尽管她也曾斩钉截铁地拒绝过,但她突然想起自己10年前被强奸过。
We heard yesterday that one woman in four, in England and Wales, suffers domestic violence during her life. Two women a week murdered by partners. 100,000 females living in Britain have had their genitals mutilated so they can never feel sexual pleasure, and not one prosecution in the years since this became illegal. There are thousands of incidences of so-called honour-based violence a year, and many more forced marriages. When our daughter took part in a BBC programme in the East End of London, she found that all the girls there her age had suffered brutality from their boyfriends. They thought nothing of it – you have sex, you get beaten, at least your man protects you from others.
昨天我们听说,英格兰和威尔士的四分之一妇女,生活中都会遭受家庭暴力,平均每周就会有两位妇女被伴侣杀害。英国大约有10万妇女其外生殖器是不完整的,因而永不会享受到性爱之乐。虽然这属于违法,但是这么些年竟没有一个人去告发。每年都有成千上万的所谓基于名誉的暴力事件发生,还有更多被迫结合的婚姻案例。我们的女儿在伦敦东区参加BBC的一个节目时,她发现那儿的同龄女孩都遭受过男友的暴力行为。她们不把这当回事:做爱,挨揍,最起码你的男人会保护你不受其他人欺负。
Researching for my first book, on gender issues, I studied God’s pronouncement to the woman, after the archetypal couple disobeys God’s laws. “The man will rule over you.” Not God’s punishment for sin, but the inevitable consequence of it. Given that we put self first, the strong will exploit the weak, always have and always will. Judeo-Christian Scripture is full of God’s bias to the vulnerable, the poor, the dispossessed, the underclass. It is not just men and women who are equal in value, but not necessarily in power and strength. In the civilised West we’re all against oppressing women. I don’t suppose you beat your wife any more than I do. But there are many kinds of exploitation. How many women will come home from a long day today, to a longer evening of housework? How many bullied in the workplace? Or pressured into roles they didn’t choose, in recent history with little opportunity to go out to work, now with little opportunity to do otherwise? We pride ourselves on our liberal democracy.
探究我的第一本关于性别问题的书,我知晓上帝在亚当夏娃违背他意愿后,对女人的宣告:男人…会统治你。不是上帝对罪恶的惩罚,而是其不可避免的后果。考虑到我们总是以自我为首,强者会利用这一周;过去和将来都会是这样。犹太基督圣经里满是上帝对弱者的偏见:穷人、无依无靠者、下层阶级。男人和女人具有同等的价值,在权利与力量方面却没必要如此。在文明的西方我们都反对压迫妇女。我不希望您比我还常打妻子。除此之外还有其他类的剥削。有多少女性在结束了漫长的一天后回到家,还要继续做更长时间的晚间家务?有多少女性在工作上被欺压?或者被迫扮演着非自己所选的角色:在近代历史上没有机会出去工作,而现在除了工作没有其他机会?我们为生在自由民主的国度而自豪。
We don’t like to censure porn, but Kier Starmer, Director of Public Prosecutions, has linked the high level of violence in teenage relationships to exposure to sexually explicit sites. We mustn’t question alternative forms of family, though boys brought up without their biological fathers are more likely to demonstrate aggression. We feel uncomfortable about clamping down on prostitution, despite the danger we all know they work in. They brought Him a woman who had done wrong. The proscribed punishment was to throw rocks at her until she was killed. Would He forgive, and break their law? Or comply, and initiate violence? He bent down, and wrote in the dirt. She had been caught in the act of adultery. A misdemeanor that takes two. So where was the other one?In many areas of life men remain more powerful than women. One sure mark of civilisation is when the strong raise passionate voices in protection of those who are less so. When men battle against violence towards women, we’ve taken a good step forward.
我们也不想谴责色情,但是检察长Kier Starmer,认为青少年恋爱关系中,暴力事件高发生率与过于直白的性爱网站有关。我们没必要质问特殊的家庭模式–被非亲生父母抚养大的男生更有可能表现出攻击性。我们没法取缔卖淫业,尽管我们都知道他们所涉足的危险。他们将行为过失的女人带到主的面前。被禁止的惩罚是向她投石致其死。如果主原谅她,是犯了他们的法么?或者顺从地,才引发暴力事件么?主弯下腰,将这些写在泥土上。她与人通奸时被当场发现。而苟且之事两人完成。可另外一个人呢?在生活的许多领域男人比女人更有力量。文明的一个明确的标志就是,强者能够扬起激昂的语调来保护较弱者。当男性能为女性所受暴力奋起抗争,我们就向前迈了一大步。