双语美文之似水流年 （113）精彩极了 糟糕透了(3)
I couldn’t stand it another second.
我实在无法再忍耐下去。
I ran from the dining room bawling.
我放声大哭的跑出餐厅，
Up in my room I threw myself on the bed and sobbed.
回到自己的卧室，倒在床上悲泣。
That may have been the end of the anecdote, but not of its significance for me.
这件事到此时似已终止，可是对我来说，我一直不能忘记其中的含义。
Inevitably the family wounds healed.
家庭纠纷自会调停的，
A few years later I took a second look at that first poem;It was a pretty lousy poem.
几年以后，我再把我哪一首诗看了一遍，觉得那首诗实在写的相当的糟。
After a while, I walked up the courage to show him something new, a short story.
过了一些日子，我鼓起勇气给他看我的一篇新作，是一个幼稚短篇故事，
My father thought it was overwritten but not hopeless. I was learning to rewrite.
父亲认为我写的过于粉饰，不过不是完全不可救药。我开始知道改写的重要了，
And my mother was learning that she could criticize me without crushing me.
母亲也开始领悟，批评我并不会使我沮丧。
You might say we were all learning. I was going on 12.
你可以说我们都在进步。那时我就要十二岁了。
But it wasn’t until years later that the true meaning of that painful“first poem” experience dawned on me.
可是，要等到若干年后我才领悟，关于那首痛苦的处女作的经过的真实意义。
As I became a professional writer, it became clearer and clearer to me how fortunate I had been.
其后我以写作为业，写书，写剧本，写电影脚本，逐渐领悟我幼年时多幸运，
I had a mother who said, “Buddy, did you really write this? I think it’s wonderful!”
因为母亲会对我说：“帕迪，这真是你写的？我认为你写的好极了！”
and a father who shook his head no and drove me to hear with “I think it’s lousy.”
还有父亲会摇着头对我说“写的糟透了” 使我痛哭流涕。
A writer–in fact every one of us in life-needs that loving force from which all creation flows.
一个作家需要—事实上，人活在世界上，有谁不需要—母爱的鼓励，那是所有创作的源泉；
Yet alone that force is incomplete, even misleading, balance of the force that cautions,“Watch. Listen. Review. Improve.”
然而没有严父的督促，教你“留心观察、谛听、思索、改进”只有母爱不仅不够完备，而且易于误入歧途，甚至是有害的。
Sometimes you find these opposing forces in associates friends, loved ones.
有时候你会在同事、朋友、亲友之间找到这两种迥然不同的力量。
But finally you must balance these opposites within yourself;
可是你须要在这两种相反的力量之间，找到平衡。
First, the confidence to go forward, to do, to become;
首先要有进取心、力行、适应的信心，
Second, the tempering of self-approval with hard-headed, realistic self-appraisal.
其次要把这种跳跃奔放的自负加以羁勒，加以冷静、现实的自省，这就是严父的教训。