TED演讲之生存故事 布琳·布朗:脆弱的力量(10)
And we perfect, most dangerously, our children. Let me tell you what we think about children.
我们想要让我们的孩子变得完美，这是最危险的。让我告诉你我们是如何看待孩子的。
They’re hardwired for struggle when they get here. And when you hold those perfect little babies in your hand, our job is not to say, “Look at her, she’s perfect.
从他们出生的那刻起，他们就注定要挣扎。当你把这些完美的宝宝抱在怀里的时候，我们的任务不是说：“看看她，她完美的无可挑剔。
My job is just to keep her perfect — make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh.”
而是确保她保持完美–保证她五年级的时候可以进网球队，七年级的时候稳进耶鲁。”
That’s not our job. Our job is to look and say, “You know what? You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”
那不是我们的任务。我们的任务是注视着她，对她说，“你知道吗？你并不完美，你注定要奋斗，但你值得被爱，值得享有归属感。”
That’s our job. Show me a generation of kids raised like that, and we’ll end the problems, I think, that we see today.
这才是我们的职责。给我看用这种方式培养出来的一代孩子，我保证我们今天有的问题会得到解决。
We pretend that what we do doesn’t have an effect on people. We do that in our personal lives.
我们假装我们的行为不会影响他人。不仅在我们个人生活中我们这么做，
We do that corporate — whether it’s a bailout, an oil spill … a recall.
在工作中也一样–无论是紧急救助，石油泄漏，还是产品召回。
We pretend like what we’re doing doesn’t have a huge impact on other people.
我们假装我们做的事对他人不会造成什么大影响。
I would say to companies, this is not our first rodeo, people.
我想对这些公司说：嘿，这不是我们第一次牛仔竞技。
We just need you to be authentic and real and say … “We’re sorry. We’ll fix it.”
我们只要你坦诚地，真心地说一句：“对不起，我们会处理这个问题。”
But there’s another way, and I’ll leave you with this. This is what I have found:
但还有一种方法，我把它留给你们。这是我的心得：
To let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen … to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee —
卸下我们的面具，让我们被看见，深入地被看见，即便是脆弱的一面；全心全意地去爱，尽管没有任何担保–
and that’s really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that’s excruciatingly difficult —
这是最困难的，我也可以告诉你，作为一名家长，这个非常非常困难–
to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we’re wondering, “Can I love you this much?
带着一颗感恩的心，保持快乐，哪怕是在最恐惧的时候，哪怕我们怀疑：“我能不能爱得这么深？
Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?”
我能不能如此热情地相信这份感情？我能不能如此矢志不渝？”
just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, “I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive.”
在消极的时候能打住，而不是一味地幻想事情会如何变得更糟，对自己说：“我已经很感恩了，因为能感受到这种脆弱，这意味着我还活着。”
And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we’re enough.
最后，还有最重要的一点，那就是相信我们已经做得够好了。
Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, “I’m enough” …
因为我相信当我们在一个，让人觉得“我已经足够了”的环境中打拼的时候…
then we stop screaming and start listening, we’re kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.
我们会停止抱怨，开始倾听，我们会对周围的人会更友善，更温和，对自己也会更友善，更温和。
That’s all I have. Thank you.
这就是我演讲的全部内容。谢谢大家。
演讲简介：
布琳.布朗致力于研究人与人的关系–我们感同身受的能力、获得归属感的能力、爱的能力。在TEDx休斯敦一次富有感染力的幽默谈话中，她跟我们分享了她的研究发现，一个让她更想深入了解自己以及人类的发现。