TED演讲:为什么我们需要与陌生人交流(4)
It’s the good feeling I got
这就是那位老人将我
from being saved from the death trap of the storm drain by the old man,
从雨篦子的“死亡陷阱”中“拯救”出来之后，我得到的那种美妙的感觉；
or how I feel like part of a community when I talk to somebody on my train on the way to work.
或者是在我乘火车上班与别人交谈时，感觉自己是社群的一份子。
Sometimes it goes further.
有时候还会更进一步。
Researchers have found that people often feel more comfortable
研究表明，人们通常对陌生人
being honest and open about their inner selves with strangers than they do with their friends and their families
敞开心扉相比对家人和朋友要更容易一些
that they often feel more understood by strangers.
人们经常觉得更容易被陌生人理解。
This gets reported in the media with great lament.
媒体十分悲观地报道了这一发现，
“Strangers communicate better than spouses!” It’s a good headline, right?
将其称作：“陌生人之间的交流要好过配偶之间！”这标题很抢眼，不是吗？
I think it entirely misses the point.
但我觉得他们完全没有抓住关键点。
The important thing about these studies is just how significant these interactions can be;
研究的核心是陌生人之间的互动有多重要；
how this special form of closeness gives us something we need as much as we need our friends and our families.
这种特殊的亲近能够提供我们所需要的东西，就像我们需要朋友或者家人一样。
So how is it possible that we communicate so well with strangers?
那么为什么我们和陌生人能交流得如此顺畅呢？
There are two reasons. The first one is that it’s a quick interaction.
这当中有两个原因。其一在于这是一个快速的互动，
It has no consequences.
并不会涉及到任何后果。
It’s easy to be honest with someone you’re never going to see again, right? That makes sense.
对以后再也不会见到的人坦诚相见并没有特别难，对吧？这样说得通。
The second reason is where it gets more interesting.
第二个理由要有趣得多。
We have a bias when it comes to people we’re close to. We expect them to understand us.
我们对亲近的人存在偏见。我们期待他们理解我们。
We assume they do, and we expect them to read our minds.
我们默认得到了他们的理解，也期待他们会站在我们的角度思考。
我们一直来受到的教育是”不要和陌生人说话,陌生人是危险的”,本期TED演讲者Kio Stark女士却对这一观点提出质疑。她的经历和观察告诉了她：如果我们能够推翻对陌生人的成见会带来意想不到的惊喜。让我们终止无数的猜忌,创造一个更美好的世界吧！