'卷福'读信查德阿维顿1970年致父亲的一封信(1)

Dear Dad,

亲爱的爸爸,

I'm putting this in a letter because phone calls have a way of disappearing in the whatever it is.

我把想说的话写进信里,是因为通过电话倾诉总感觉缺点什么。

I'm trying to put into words what I feel most deeply, not just about you, but about my work and the years of undefinable father and son between us.

我试着把内心最深的感触用语言组织出来,关于你,关于我的工作以及多年来咱们难以界定的父子关系。

I've never understood why I've saved the best that's in me for strangers like Stravinsky and not for my own father.

我一直想不透,为什么对斯特拉温斯基这种陌生人体贴、细致,而对父亲却分毫不予。

There was a picture of you on the piano that I saw every day when I was growing up.

琴架上您的照片是我成长过程中每日必看的。

It was by the Bachrach studio and heavily retouched and we all used to call it "Smilin' Jack Avedon"—it was a family joke, because it was a photograph of a man we never saw, and of a man I never knew.

那是巴赫拉奇画室拍摄的,经过了大量的修饰,我们曾称它是“微笑的杰克埃夫登”——这是个家族笑话,因为这是一张从未谋面的男性的照片,我们素不相识。

Years later, Bachrach did an advertisement with me—Richard Avedon, Photographer—as a subject.

时光荏苒,巴赫拉奇为我量身定制了一个广告——理查德·阿维登担任摄影师。

Their photograph of me was the same as the photograph of you.

他们为我拍摄的照片跟你的那张简直如出一辙。

We were up on the same piano, where neither of us had ever lived.

琴架上我俩照片紧挨着,谁曾想,二人竟从未一起生活过。

I am trying to do something else. When you pose for a photograph, it's behind a smile that isn't yours.

我想换个别的姿势。当你摆姿势拍照的时候,你脸上的微笑却不真实。

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