TED演讲之现在或永不 我无家可归的一年(3)

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When winter weather set in, the temperatures dropped below freezing.

当冬天来临的时候,温度骤降到零度以下。

And they stayed there. And I faced a whole new set of challenges.

然后就一直这么冷。我又遇到了一堆新问题,

I parked a different place every night so I would avoid being noticed and hassled by the police. I didn’t always succeed.

每晚我的车都停在不同的地方。这样才可以不让警察发现以至于和警察争吵。当然,并不是每次都成功。

But I felt out of control of my life. And I don’t know when or how it happened,

但是,我觉得我已无力掌控自己的生活了。我也不知道什么时候或者是如何发生的,

but the speed at which I went from being a talented writer and journalist to being a homeless woman, living in a van, took my breath away.

我这么快就从一个有才的写手,新闻从业者变成一个无家可归,住在车里的女人这简直是快的难以置信。

I hadn’t changed. My I.Q. hadn’t dropped.

我并没有变。我的智商没有降低。

My talent, my integrity, my values, everything about me remained the same.

我的才能,我的正直,我的价值,所有关于我的这些东西都还是一样。

But I had changed somehow. I spiraled deeper and deeper into a depression.

但是从某种程度上,我还是改变了,我越来越沮丧,像一个漩涡一样不断地往下沉。

And eventually someone referred me to a homeless health clinic.

后来有人介绍我去一个专为无家可归之人开的健康诊所。

And I went. I hadn’t bathed in three days. I was as smelly and as depressed as anyone in line.

我去了。我有三天都没有洗澡了,我和其他那些排队的人一样沮丧,身上的味道也很难闻。

I just wasn’t drunk or high. And when several of the homeless men realized that,

我只是没有喝醉或者兴奋。当一些无家可归的人意识到,

including a former university professor, they said, “You aren’t homeless. Why are you really here?”

包括一个以前在大学任教的教授,他们说:“你不是无家可归,你真正在这里的原因是什么?”

Other homeless people didn’t see me as homeless, but I did.

其他的无家可归的人不把我当作是无家可归的人看待。但是我自己是这么认为的。

Then the professor listened to my story and he said,

后来,教授听了我的故事后他说,

“You have a job. You have hope. The real homeless don’t have hope.”

“你有工作,有希望。真正无家可归的人并没有希望可言。”

A reaction to the medication the clinic gave me for my depression left me suicidal.

诊所针对我沮丧开的药物的副作用让我有点自杀的倾向。

And I remember thinking, “If I killed myself, no one would notice.”

我还记得当时想,“如果我自杀了,可能没人会发现的。”

演讲简介

贝基·布兰顿计划在一年里就在他的小货车里住并且游历全国,但是当沮丧加剧而且自由作家的工作泡汤的时候,他的旅营就变成了无家可归了。在这个温馨的演讲中,她描述了她作为美国无家可归的工作者之一的独特经历。

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